For those of you who don’t know me, I love Joaquin Phoenix. Not sure if it was Signs or Ladder 49 (It wasn’t Gladiator) that first caught my attention but this man in magnificent. What really sealed the deal was Walk The Line. The black shirt, black pants, smirk and deep voice had me swooning like a hipster over thick rimmed glasses.
After that, Joaquin pumped out We Own the Night followed by Reservation Road and then …we didn’t see him. Until. Until all of a sudden in late 2009, Joaquin Phoenix is showing up at events and in public with Casey Affleck like…this:
People went into full panic mode (just me?). Was this a very late downhill reaction to his brother, River Phoenix’, death? Was this all a hoax?! WHAT WAS HAPPENING?! In fact, this worry for Joaquin is what started the friendship between justjmac team member Lindsay and myself.
Oh the relief we kinda felt when it finally came out that his new look was for a Mockumentary called I’m Still Here where a camera crew follows him as he transforms from an actor to a …rapper. I still think something wasn’t right for him to even do this movie.
And then the double relief, for his fans, when he was seen (at least in public) looking semi-normal.
Things were looking up. He did the movie The Master with Philip Seymour Hoffman and Amy Adams.
Joaquin was even nominated for an Academy Award for his work in this film. He then showed up at the Oscars and…well, we all know this now iconic gif that came from the 85th Academy awards:
What is happening? Why is Joaquin so upset about being nominated? I was trying to be optimistic but I didn’t seeing this as a positive sign. Ut-oh…was he spiraling? I went into denial mode. I mean, he could have just been sick and trying not to lose his lunch, right?
But then…but then last week, this happened:
My first though was” Tall, stick thin, and blonde? I’m just his type!”
I then decided that there was worse things going on in this photo… like those chops. WHERE IS HIS FACE? Joaquin, that’s not a beard. You’re doing it wrong. Also, it’s not a wise idea to walk around LA without shoes on. Do we need Blake Mycoskie to bring you a pair of shoes so that parasites aren’t picked up via your bare feet?
Hipsters unite! Buy a pair of TOMS so that Blake can give a pair to Joaquin and his…associate.
Oh. I’m avoiding the real issue again, sorry. Joaquin please please please come back to us. I miss this Joaquin. You know, normal and smoldering.
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