If you missed last week’s episode, it’s because I didn’t write it. I had a busy week and the episode was a bit slow. A problem that this week’s episode did not have. Let’s get to the really important stuff here.
Jamie and Brienne have been captured, and they run off with Brienne to rape her. Jamie does what he can to save her, convince the misfits’ leader Locke that her father is extremely wealthy and would be a nice ransom for her undamaged. Then he attempts to schmooze his way out of his shackles into some food. But it doesn’t work and they CHOP OFF HIS HAND! Yes, his right hand. His sword hand. The hand that DEFINES him as a knight and as a person (he’s the Kingslayer after all). Can you feel sorry for Jaime Lannister? A little. That stinks.
After being tortured last week, Theon Greyjoy has some moments of respite when the servant boy sets him free. He rides off into the forest, only to be bested by the Bastard’s men. However, our lovely servant boy (or is he?) shows up to save him. Theon is an idiot. Can you feel sorry for him? Maybe a smidge. But he really digs his own grave (figuratively).
Khaleesi bargains away her biggest and best dragon for the 8000 Unsullied. Ser Barristan and Ser Jorah are furious with her. But she puts them in their place.
Robb, his mother and his men have arrived at Riverun for a proper send off for Catelyn’s dead father. Her brother Edmure shows very quickly what kind of man he is when he can’t light the funeral pyre. Enter badass Uncle Blackfish who shoves Edmure out of the way and takes care of business on his own. Robb chastises Edmure for some poor decisions he has made, and we see again that Edmure isn’t the brightest bulb in the bunch (or whatever that cliche is).
Hot Pie chooses to leave Arya and Gendry and stay behind as a baker at an inn where they have stopped. It seems he doesn’t want to move on with the duo and the Brotherhood without Banners.
The high council convenes and an amusing game of musical chairs ensues to ensure that everyone involved has their proper seat. Without a word, Tywin, Cersei, Tyrion, Littlefinger, the Spyder and the Grand-maester show their roles quite clearly.
Tyrion then shows his thanks to Pod for saving him by presenting him with three prostitutes to deflower him. When he returns with his money, Bronn and Tyrion want to know what kind of skills he has that even whores won’t take his money.
Mance Rayder, along with Jon Snow, come upon hundreds of dead horses. Their riders are presumably killed and will return as white walkers. Mance declares they will march on the wall and Snow will be forced to show his true allegiance.
Meanwhile, the remaining Men of the Nights Watch arrive back at Craster’s Keep where Sam discovers his old pal Gilly is delivering a baby. And it’s a boy. 😦 That means Craster will allow the white walkers to take it. Sad day for Gilly.
Here’s the trailer for next week’s episode. Can’t wait to see what’s next!