This post is so tragically awesome, I don’t even know where to begin. Actually, I do…
Raise your hand if you remember the short lived MTV production called, The Ashlee Simpson Show? If not, Ashlee had a on-again-off-again boyfriend named Ryan Cabrera . He was the one who always looked like he stuck his finger in a light socket. Yeah, him.
Ryan went on to be known for his one hit wonder, “On The Way Down“. Besides briefly dating Audriena Patridge from “The Hills,” we haven’t seen much from our friend.
This afternoon at work, my co-worker sent me a link to Perez Hilton (not generally the type of site I find myself on, but this one ignited my interest).
She said, “Ryan Cabrera got Ryan Gosling tattooed on his body.” I’m sorry… WHAT?
How could you disgrace our blessed Ryan Gosling like that?!
According to Perez, Ryan stated that the tattoo was a result of a game he was playing with his friends. AWKWARD.
“[My friends] like to play a game called tattoo roulette. We blindfold each other: ‘You get to pick a tattoo for me, and I get to pick a tattoo for you. And you don’t get to see it ’till they’re both done.'”
That sounds like the worst game in recorded history. I would rather suck Joe Rogan’s toe on Fear Factor.
In closing, Ryan you’re 30, and you are still wearing the same hairstyle you rocked in ’04. Puh-lease find a new one, seriously. Not cute. Also, we see you’ve had a little bit of work done, can you blink? Or does it hurt?
Also, Taylor Swift is single.