Games of Thrones is back! Let’s talk 3×01 “Valar Dohaeris”

We will now be covering Game of Thrones, and since I am the only one on this blog that watches it (for shame, people!), the job goes to me by default. It felt like I had been anticipating last night’s season 3 premiere for about 6 months. I have read the series (well, the five books that have been released so far) and I am really excited for season 3. Book three, A Storm of Swords, was action packed and full of goodness, so I have high expectations. Don’t let me down, HBO!

game of thrones Jon Snow at Mance Rayder's camp

We open North of the wall. Sam has failed to send the birds for help and the ghost walker thingies are bearing down on the Night’s Watch men.

Jon Snow (how I’ve missed you these last months!) has just killed Qhorin Halfhand and has been taken in by the wildlings. He’s forced to talk with their leader Mance Rayder, who was also once a man of the Night’s Watch. Snow tells Rayder that he wants to fight on the side that fights for the living. I guess that’s a good enough reason for Rayder, who warns Snow that sassy Ygritte might want a piece if you know what I mean.

dany_jdt
Meanwhile, Daenerys and her Dothraki crew are crossing the sea to go to Astapoor to find an army because her dragons still aren’t big enough for her to take the Iron Throne. She meets the owner of the slaves called The Unsullied where she does some negotiating to buy 8,000 of them. The owner points out that the slaves are afraid of absolutely nothing, and to prove it, they cut off a guy’s nipple and he doesn’t even flinch. Gag factor: 8. After that, Barristan Selmy, former head of the Kings Guard in King’s Landing shows up and pledges his loyalty to Dany.

While that’s happening, down in King’s Landing, Joffrey’s new betrothed is trying to prove she is an independent woman by visiting with orphans while he sits outside being a big baby. She shows she’s got what it takes to be a queen, and that she’s got what it takes to deal with Joff. I mean, this woman’s got guts. She was willing to have a three-way with her brother just to get pregnant and now she is willing to marry the worst person that ever lived, Joffrey.

Also, in King’s Landing, Tyrion is pissed that his father hasn’t visited since sustaining a bad injury in the battle that was won because of him. And would it kill anyone to give him a little credit? Instead he’s been pushed into a tiny room, given NO thanks, and threatened by his father who pretty much hates his guts because Tyrion’s mom died birthing him. Poor Tyrion.

Littlefinger is making lots of promises to Sansa, who literally has no one else to trust. Baelish’s head whore warns that Sansa should beware his intentions. Having seen the previous seasons: obviously.

robb stark

King of the North Robb finds that one of his men’s villages has been pillaged and pretty much everyone is murdered. It was the Lannisters who did it so he blames his mom, who let Jamie Lannister free last season (not that he was involved with this attack or anything), against Robb’s will. What’s his plan? Lock up his mother! Catelyn goes without complaint of course.

And just as you we were feeling overwhelmed at trying to remember who all the characters were in the episode, we were reminded by next week’s promo (check it out below) that we have not even seen half the characters yet this season.

Next week we’ll catch up with Bran and Rickon, Jamie and Brienne, and Arya!

All-in-all a pretty slow and unexciting episode. Of course, you have to have those to build up to others, but being so highly anticipated (it broke records), you’d hope for a bit more. Having said that, I’ll be glued to my TV next Sunday, too.

Promo for next week’s episode:

Want to know what it would look like if all of 3×01 took place on Facebook? Click here.

Photos

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